Video - Mark Mistry spends a week as a vegetarian.

No meat and plenty of veg

by Mark Mistry

THIS week is National Vegetarian Week.
To coincide with the event, Weston & Somerset Mercury reporter Mark Mistry has abstained from meat of all kinds.
The usually-dedicated carnivore has kept a daily diary of his trials and tribulations, as well as his colleagues' attempts to throw him off course.
We hope you will enjoy reading Mark's experiences as much as we enjoyed taunting him. Bon appetit.

Sunday

KNOWING that I'd be spending the next week as a vegetarian meant that I took my time preparing my last bacon sandwich.
With four rashers, it was pretty much the best thing I'd tasted all weekend.
I also went to the trouble of weighing myself ahead of my latest bout of self-flagellation (I ran the New York Marathon last year).
A text message about a midweek barbecue confirms my suspicion that all is not well. I'm sure that leaving my natural position in the food chain can only lead to 'bad things'.
Homemade potato and aubergine curry is the first dish I'll be attempting this evening.
Salivating yet? You will be...

Monday

MY COLLEAGUES are attempting to use my new-found Puritanism against me by openly discussing ordering bacon sandwiches and visiting Burger King.
There's a surprise. However, some have been impressed (ahem - Ed.) by my cooking and have asked for the potato and aubergine curry recipe. Sadly it is out of their price range.
My regular date with villagers in Banwell usually means a mandatory visit to a grocery store to pick up a pepper steak slice, or some other processed food stopgap, until I can return home to eat properly.
However, as my gaze drifts across the selection in front of me I'm aware there are no vegetarian options. Therefore tonight's dinner is a packet of salt and vinegar crisps followed closely by an old school favourite, the Double Decker. Tasty. Meat-free.

Tuesday

A SECOND helping of curry means that I manage to tough out further meat gibes at lunch.
A colleague helpfully points out that I have 'meat sweats'. My plan this evening goes somewhat awry as I massively overestimate the amount of pasta I need to cook. After I'd spent about half an hour decanting it into three large containers, I realised that I'm back on familiar territory.
Before last year's marathon all I ate for about a week was pasta. After such a limited menu I resolved never again to return to my culinary Groundhog Day. More fool me.

Wednesday

IN A classic example of sod's law, I take some footage of the pile of pasta in my kitchen before leaving for work (see www.thewestonmercury.co.uk for my video blog) but arrive at the office having failed to bring any of the dreary dish with me.
Now, my subconscious probably feels somewhat guilty, but not for long, as my adherence to the regime rewards me with a voucher for a bakery that says I can pick up a freshly made baguette for a pound.
Sadly, upon trying to redeem the voucher, it turns out much like Monday evening, in that there is no vegetarian option available.
Tonight is the barbecue.
Luckily for me, a colleague decides to ease my pain of watching and smelling meat being grilled outdoors by taking a tumble that puts us both in accident and emergency for the evening. The Apprentice has suddenly acquired new therapeutic qualities.

Thursday

Today my colleagues made good on their threat to tuck into a Burger King lunch. Almost everyone in the office ploughed through their man-sized meals without a thought for me suffering in vegetarian limbo, with only lettuce leaves for comfort. Meanwhile, I still have my pasta. And not a great deal else.

Friday

I've found that not being able to have fish is the most frustrating aspect of this experiment. A discussion over a pint after work almost lets me think that I could have gorged myself on fish anyway given the 'many' types of vegetarian we've managed to identify.
When I get home, a healthy sized portion of DIY helped to take my mind off the fact that I am now approaching five days without proper food.

Saturday

With the pasta now finally gone, I can once again treat myself to some half-decent cooking. Today's choice is an omelette made with tomatoes, red onion and curry paste with toast. Later on that day I took a trip to a fish and chip shop to sample a spicy bean burger, only to be told they had sold out. I'm beginning to think that sod's law has given way to a conspiracy...

Sunday

Weigh day. According to the scales, I've lost somewhere in the region of three pounds. However, when I gleefully explain this to my dietician friend, she tells me, thankfully leaving out graphic details, that this is not so out of the ordinary.
So, if you want to lose weight and eat healthily, become a vegetarian.
On the other hand, if you enjoy feeling full after a good meal, then perhaps it's best to recognise that Darwin was right all along and covet your position on the food chain.