June 2008 - Posts
I AM so naughty.
It's not good. I have been a bad girl.
What started as a Mars Bar yesterday has rapidly increased to what can only be described as gorging.
Today, and bearing in mind I am writing this at 2pm, I have had...
A bacon and sausage sandwich
Two bottles of diet cherry coke
Seven pieces of sushi
A bottle of orange juice
Two cups of tea
A strawberry yoghurt
Two slices of quiche
A slice of toasted bread with onion chutney, chicken and rocket salad.
Its not looking good is it?
As my colleague Sarah said: "You might wanna skip dinner tonight love." And as my other colleague Clare reminded me, it is weight day on Sunday.
All in all, the signs aren't good.
I am also getting a bit stressy about the fact there is a very important exam looming and I could do with passing it in order to progress in my career. That and the fact I have to travel to Portsmouth the day before, and the day after I'm off to a wedding.
Oh and my friend is coming to stay this weekend.
Oh and I have lots to write for the paper before next week.
Oh and never have any money because I am saving up for my holiday.
ARGH!
Think I may be on the phone to Lesley very soon for an emergency session. Especially if
a) I want to pass my exam
b) I want to pass my exam without being the size of a house.
No longer looking forward to Sunday.
THEY say a positive attitude and a great support-network are the keys to success and this certainly rings true for me.
This week my afore-mentioned boyfriend (in my last blog) saw me after a two-week absence and said I have DEFINITELY lost weight.
I must admit, hearing this from someone who frequently has his arms around me for hugs and cuddles has spurred me on.
On Sunday (June 29) I will be weighing myself after one-month of hypnotherapy. I wouldn't say I am looking forward to it but I don't have the same feelings of dread I used to have. It used to have me cowering in a corner weeping on the phone to any friend who isn't yet diverting my calls to answering machine.
Imagine that scene in The Simpsons where Homer is running through the woods and sees a billboard saying 'die' and screams. Then a tree blows back and he reads the actual word is 'diet' and screams even louder. My thoughts about losing weight are pretty much summed up like this!
Well...they were anyway.
I am taking what Lesley said on board. We can't be saintly all the time, but if I do have a slice of cake or nibble some chocolate, it doesn't mean the whole thing goes out the window.
This week has been made a lot easier because I am officially poor. Its those last few days before payday when you actually consider whether three-days past its sell by date is really that bad for milk and if someone offers you chewing gum you count it towards a meal because the yoghurt splog you found smeared on the fridge door just didn't do it for you.
When payday does roll around, I'll have to be very good. Payday is usually the time of month when I do go out and buy something fattening for lunch- because I deserve it!
I am still listening to the CD every night and it really is helping me sleep. I remember to put it on 90 per cent of the time and on the days I do, I wake up feeling more positive.
Plus, it makes a change from my Terrorvision album. Great for doing the housework to, not so great for catching some Zzzzzzzz.
A MOMENTOUS occasion this week- I had my last
hypnotherapy session.
Well, not exactly my last, but my final one for
now.
As soon as I walked in I knew what Lesley was going to
say. I had no problems to tell her about, no issues I wanted to discuss. No
worries.
I have been feeling a lot brighter and chirpier these
last few days and have really started to notice a
difference.
Those jeans that weren’t looking so great now fit a
little better and even A BOY commented on how I look slimmer. (Being a boy he
couldn’t compliment me directly, he had to tell my colleague who passed it on).
I think the real tests will come on Thursday and June
29. Thursday, because my boyfriend is returning after a week of absence and will
hopefully notice a result (if any of his friends are reading this- please text
him and remind him!) and June 29 because that will be one month since I started
this and I am allowed to weight myself.
I have noticed the odd time when I have been naughty,
for example, sitting in a seafront café and munching an ice cream with bad
influence Charlotte.
Or when I bought chocolate buttons and sniffed them for
about half an hour before eating them- just to show I had some restraint.
But unlike other times I have tried to lose weight,
instead of jacking it in and thinking ‘oh well I have ruined it now’ I have merrily
jumped back on the wagon and been a good girl the next day.
Two lucky ladies in our office are getting married this
year and are therefore also watching what passes their lips, so they are having
a positive influence. I think it has really helped knowing that some fellow
‘slimming sisters’ are going through the same things I
am.
I am still listening to the hypnotherapy CD every night.
Well, I say ‘listening’ in a loose term. Basically I whack it on and within two
minutes I have usually nodded off and don’t know anything else about it until my
alarm the next morning.
I am also back swimming and gymming after a prolonged
absence. ( I slipped down some steps while texting and ended up in plaster- but
that’s a different story for another time).
I am definitely feeling fitter and more
positive.
Adios amigos. Until next time…
ANYONE who has ever worked in an office will probably sympathise with this week’s dilemma- cakes and biscuits.
Everyone has that person in the work place who will demand cakes be brought in for every birthday, anniversary, new baby and wedding imaginable. I think we once had them just because it was deadline day.
I won’t name the person in our office who has taken on the role of ‘Cake Warlord’, but she knows who she is!
Yesterday (Tues) I was very naughty with my diet. I had a tuna and cheese sandwich on white bread (dum, dum duuuuum) and then happily gorged a bag of white chocolate buttons in front of supportive colleagues screaming ‘noooooo’.
And now today, when I have climbed back on the wagon and want to stick to my salad and plums, someone has brought in biscuits.
Sitting here typing right now I think I am gaining weight just from inhaling the calories. It is taking all the strength I have not to shove one in my mouth and crunch it down before anyone notices.
Having spoken to my boyfriend on the phone and heard ‘but you don’t need to lose weight’ I am feeling more cheery. Maybe HE should have gone to Specsavers! He is obviously with me for my personality- but God knows why. Haha.
Still determined to lose a few pounds and squeeze into the sexy bikini I used to wear when I was a waitress running around in a very hot outfit and doing 8miles a night. (Just to clarify- I didn’t waitress in a bathing suit).
I have noticed my clothes aren’t leaving impressions on me when I take them off at night and my knickers aren’t cutting off the circulation to my thighs due to my expanding *** any more.
I do feel thinner, just not thin. But like anything worth doing, it takes time, motivation and willing.
Looking forward to my next session with Lesley, mainly because she has a comfy couch and a cool pink Buddha I wouldn’t mind stealing for my flat.
But seriously- hypnotherapy is always very relaxing and after a stressful week of driving to Taunton, meeting deadlines and generally rushing around, it will be nice to take five and count some Zees.
Until next time, over and out.
THIS week in my strive for a smaller waist I made two new friends- Sharky and my subconscious.
Sharky, as his name suggests, is a little shark who is now going to swimming around in my stomach, while my subconscious is a pink squishy bubble.
Before you start calling for the men in white coats, let me explain.
My hypnotherapist Lesley introduced me to Sharky on Thursday to help me get rid of some of that bubbler I seem to be carrying around.
When I have a meal I have to picture the miniature shark swimming around all my arteries, eating up all the rubbish and moving so fast he knocks off bits of fat. As Sharky eats he gets smaller and smaller, so he keeps on eating even more.
Lesley said I should try and imagine him when I am eating at work, one of the places I find it hard to try and slow down my shovelling.
During the week I am usually pushing food in with one hand and typing with the other, which is probably one of my main difficulties.
I also met my subconscience, who unfortunately doesn’t have a name but is very pretty none the less.
When I went into hypnosis on Thursday Lesley wanted to talk to my subconscious rather than me so I had to imagine it coming forward.
While those two were chatting away like old friends, I was sort of half aware of what was happening. Sort of like being half asleep in front of the television- you know what programme is on but not a lot else.
At the end Lesley asked me to thank my subconscience for popping in for a chat and I gave it a hug. It sounds bizarre but I could actually feel my arms going around this soft pink thing. It felt nice.
Now I am typing out what happened and reading it back, it does all seem pretty crazy, but trust me, it is working.
I’ve been warned not to weigh myself for a month but I am already noticing a difference in how my clothes fit and I know I am not snacking in between meals, popping out for a chocolate bar and all those other bad habits I used to do.
Don’t get me wrong. I am nowhere nearly saintly, but the trick is not to eat 10 burgers and pizzas just because I fell off the wagon and munched a few sweets.
I am feeling really positive about this whole experiment and I am keeping my fingers crossed.
Roll on summer. I cannot wait to wear a bikini and look like a human rather than a ball of dough covered in dental floss.
IN WHAT might turn out to be either one of the best or worst decisions of my life, I have again volunteered go undercover in the name of news.
After filming myself looking after a robot baby that cried into the wee hours (video elsewhere on this website), I decided to try to lose the weight I seem to have gained since getting a desk job.
Aiming to regain my hourglass figure, I went along to my first hypnotherapy session with Lesley.
After hearing an outline of the process I was asked a series of questions to identify the root of my problem (I think chocolate and cakes had a lot to do with it), before being told to visualise the body I want.
I do count myself lucky in the fact my editor hasn't asked for a before and after photograph like they do on television. I think me in my pants followed by a picture of my head super-imposed onto Catherine Zeta-Jones' body would probably lower our circulation figures.
Then came the part I was actually very nervous about- the hypnosis. I was told to lie on a couch but fortunately there wasn't a pocket watch in sight.
It is a very strange feeling being hypnotised. It is like being half in a dream and half listening to the other person. Sort of like geography A-level.
Lesley told me to imagine my body sinking deeper into the seat (which probably actually happened - bearing in mind the reason I was there). I had to close my eyes and imagine I was in a garden, and with each step I took towards the lawn, I had to imagine my body getting heavy.
The actual hypnotherapy, in which Lesley spoke about positive thinking and expelling negative thoughts, seemed to last about five minutes - but looking at the clock, I realised almost an hour had slipped by.
I don't really remember what happened during the hypnosis but when I came out of it my body felt like a balloon, very light and floaty, like a really nice head rush.
Since the session, I have noticed a significant decrease in the amount of chocolate I have been eating, my weakness being Galaxy and white chocolate.
I've been told the thing about hypnotherapy is to have a positive attitude and believe it is going to work, and I do. I really want it to work so by the time my summer holidays come along I can sunbathe on the beach without lifeguards thinking a beached whale has become stuck on the sand.
Only time will tell....