Emma's fighting the flab

SUN, sea, and sangria

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:58:00 GMT

SUN, sea, sand and sangria have equalled fabulous tan and slimmer figure (HURRAH).

After a week jollying around Majorca I have come back with a tan to rival WAGs everywhere and a slimmer appearance.

According to the scales I have actually lost or gained anything, which is quite good considering the sorts of things I was consuming. But tans always make you LOOK slimmer don’t they?

Lesley said it is okay to forget about losing weight and relax on holiday, so that is exactly what I did.

Although I did do lots of swimming, which apparently is a very good all-over workout, I also did plenty of bicep exercise raising me fork and cocktail glass to my gleefully wide mouth.

My friend Helen and I also spent a day running up and down stairs and steep hills to ride on water flumes as well.

Actually, now I think about it- I probably did more exercise than I do normally- haha! SCORE! I am practically a saint in the world of weight loss.

Okay not quite, but at least I didn’t gain any extra pounds. My suitcase almost hit 20kg with the amount of alcohol I brought home though. Ah well, some of it was apple and peach schnapps which I am sure will count as one of my five-a-day if I have enough.

The trick now is to keep the tan and also keep up my new-found Sainthood.

To this end, I am about to jolly off to Hutton Moor Leisure Centre for some hardcore breaststroke with a friend.

Does it still count if we go to the pub for a gossip afterwards? The pint may undo all the hardwork, but in my defence, I will be working my jaw!

3lbs down!

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:23:00 GMT

THESE past few weeks I have been kind of losing the plot a bit- for several reasons- hence the lack of blog posts! (sorry)

I’ve lost weight, which is obviously a good thing, but I think this was mainly due to losing someone in my life that meant a lot to me, catching a horrible cold and running back and forth to the pier like a mad ‘un (it caught fire, in case you hadn’t heard).

So last week I lost 3lb, someone special, my health and my lunch hours!

But this week is looking brighter and I am determined to keep on the straight and narrow now.

Having a cold meant I didn’t really feel like eating, but since returning to a normal diet I’ve realised that I really can listen to my body and put the fork down when I am full.

I think what my hypnotist Lesley had to do is combat all the other ‘hypnotising’ we get when we are younger. We are programmed to think that if we clean are plates we are a ‘good girl’ and we can go outside and play. We’re also told not to waste and be grateful for food when so many others in the world have to do without.

I’m finally starting to realise that I don’t have to finish every last bit and it might be a good idea not to cook so much in the first place.

I know weight isn’t the only measure of success. I’ve noticed other things too. Like my tight trousers are now my ‘well-fitting’ trousers and my T-shirts aren’t as snug as they once were.

Which are all very good signs, because soon I will be jetting off to warmer climates, hopefully to sip Sangaria, get a gorgeous tan and perhaps catch the attention of the local hotties!

Who knows?

Is a life without cheese worth living?

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:50:00 GMT

HAD some horribly disturbing news at the weekend- so traumatising I can hardly bring myself to type it.

Okay here it goes….I….can’t…..eat…..CHEESE!

For those who don’t realise it, cheese plays a central role in my life and has got me through many-a-drama.

And now I have been told it is bad from my blood type (it’s A by the way) and I should avoid it if I want to lose weight.

Feta and mozzarella cheese are okay but Cheddar cheese and the yummy cheeses that melt perfectly on a pizza are banned.

After raving about my present from Lesley in my last blog, I was disappointed to read in the book that some of my favourite foods are banned.

On the plus side, I can eat as much garlic and pineapple as I like. Great.

I do have several kindred spirits in the office at the moment though, including my friend Clare who is feeling the pressure of her wedding day bearing down on her like a big block of delicious blue cheese, smothered in…..SORRY, went off on a tangent there.

Anyway, my friend Clare is also dieting and although I am not being half as good as she is, I am sure she can feel my pain.

Tonight I am off to see Lesley again, but this time armed with my life goals. They are allowed to be about anything I like, love-life, weight, money, travel, career, and we are going to get them into my head as firm ideas so I can make them happen.

Then hopefully, when I am an old woman rocking in my chair in the nursing home and complaining that Nora got the last slice of Victoria sponge cake, I can look back and say that I had a good life.

Here’s hoping!

Buckwheat all the way

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:21:00 GMT

THE session with Lesley seemed to go really well last night.

I finally confessed something to her as well- I’m only in it for the comfy sofa.

Only joking, but seriously, I need to find out where she bought it from, it is the nicest seat ever.

Yesterday I was given two presents (I love presents). One was a book about the right foods for your blood type. The second was a packet of buckwheat.

One seems very informative and the other was very tasty indeed.

We also did some hypnosis where I imagined meeting a wise old man who answered my questions about my weight concerns.

I always find the hypnosis deeply relaxing, but once I come back out again I always feel wide awake.

On that note, I went to the gym afterwards and blitzed some of my ill-gotten calories. It went by a lot quicker as I was chatting and gossiping to my friend Vicky for most of it. She does go on a bit! Haha.

I am looking forward to a weekend of relaxation and reading about what foods I should be it. Fingers crossed I will stay on the straight and narrow.

Toodle pip for now!

Back for more hypnotherapy

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:01:00 GMT

MY OTHER half pointed out a reassuring article in a magazine this week- a celebrity had lost two stone through hypnosis.

She was from Platonic Mitten or whatever they’re called and used it to cut out snacking between meals.

I must admit I kind of fell off the rails with my exam stress and haven’t really climbed back on since. But this article gave me hope!

To this end, I am off to see Lesley tonight, who I am sure will wave her magic wand and get me on the straight and narrow again.

I was trying to be a good girl when I went shopping and bought, well, lets just say a cereal made with nothing but ‘whole wheat’ according to a certain sporting celebrity on the advert.

Well, I think they missed out one vital ingredient- carpet! Seriously, is there anyone in the world who actually eats that stuff voluntarily?

I tried dumping fruit, milk and yoghurt on top of it, but to be honest, it just ruined by fruit, yoghurt and milk, rather than improve the bite-sized straw I was eating.

I am determined to finish the packet, just because I hate wasting money, but by the end of it by bodily movements will probably look like dead hedgehogs, with all that sticky straw stuff poking out.

On to more pleasant things- I notice all the supermarkets are selling strawberries, raspberries, blackberries and blueberries. Which is great for me, because I love fruit and I know it is good for me.

I also went swimming last night and felt mega healthy afterwards. Arms a bit sore as I haven’t been in a while but I can’t complain about that. Well I can, because I just did.

Anyway, enough waffle.

Hopefully I will leave Lesley’s feeling rejuvenated because today I have woken up in a foul mood and it is getting progressively worse.

Will keep you updated and let you know how tonight went blog fans, so keep reading!

Sleep like a baby, eat like a whale

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:04:00 GMT

HAD a bit of giggle with Lesley during my session on Monday as it turns out I have been listening to the wrong CD!

Whoops!

She gave me one for weight loss to listen to everyday and another to help me relax and to listen to when needed.

No wonder I had been getting plenty of early nights but not really losing weight. Haha!

Slept like a baby but eat like a whale.

This week I have officially been left off for weight loss and I have something far more important to concentrate on- my exams!

Two NCE exams on Friday in Cardiff and not really looking forward to either one of them.

But my session on Monday really helped me. I feel more relaxed about the exam. I know I can do it because I passed some of the ones during my mocks. Gosh I sound 16 again. I thought once you became an adult you didn’t have to take exams anymore? What’s up with that? It wasn’t something I was warned about. Grrr.

So now I am listening to my ‘recall’ CD which is all about remembering things and also relaxing when in exam conditions.

I am not one of these people that has major panics before exams and usually I have a ‘its not the end of the world if I fail’ attitude, but because I am doing this to progress in my career, it is a little different.

For all of you logging on to read about weight loss, I apologise. This has been totally about exams.

I have been fairly good with food this week, although haven’t been to the gym for a while. I went out with my friend at the weekend who was down from Yorkshire and got a bit drunk, which didn’t help, but since Monday morning I have been back on track.

I guess the idea of a marathon is to pace yourself and to get up if you fall at the hurdles.

Wow that was quite deep, maybe I should put it on my fridge.

Big fat zero :-(

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 08:00:00 GMT

MY TIME to jump on the weighing scales finally arrived and guess what?

The amount I have lost equals a big fat zero.

Not much to show for a month of hard work, hypnotherapy, CDs and thinking positive.

As you can tell from my tone, I am on a bit of a downer today, but I only have myself to blame.

I have been relatively saintly up until last week when the thought of ANOTHER journalism exam wormed its way into my little brain.

It’s this Friday and NO I am not looking forward to it.

Cue the barrage of food cravings including, pizza, chips and cheese, capped off with a Chinese takeaway last night (Mon).

Colleagues and friends had started to make comments about how much I had lost and the fact that I was looking slimmer. I have obviously undone all my hard work.

The point was hammered in further when my button burst on my trousers this morning, although I keep telling myself it was loose. No it was! Really.

I am off to see Lesley tonight who will hopefully wave her magic wand and make me

a) pass my exam

b) lose lots of weight

c) win a free holiday.

Okay, the first two are possibilities, but the third would be a nice bonus.

I will update you on how it went, if I can squeeze through the office door tomorrow!

naught nibbles

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:14:00 GMT

I AM so naughty.

It's not good. I have been a bad girl.

What started as a Mars Bar yesterday has rapidly increased to what can only be described as gorging.

Today, and bearing in mind I am writing this at 2pm, I have had...

A bacon and sausage sandwich

Two bottles of diet cherry coke

Seven pieces of sushi

A bottle of orange juice

Two cups of tea

A strawberry yoghurt

Two slices of quiche

A slice of toasted bread with onion chutney, chicken and rocket salad.

Its not looking good is it?

As my colleague Sarah said: "You might wanna skip dinner tonight love." And as my other colleague Clare reminded me, it is weight day on Sunday.

All in all, the signs aren't good.

I am also getting a bit stressy about the fact there is a very important exam looming and I could do with passing it in order to progress in my career. That and the fact I have to travel to Portsmouth the day before, and the day after I'm off to a wedding.

Oh and my friend is coming to stay this weekend.

Oh and I have lots to write for the paper before next week.

Oh and never have any money because I am saving up for my holiday.

ARGH!

Think I may be on the phone to Lesley very soon for an emergency session. Especially if

a) I want to pass my exam

b) I want to pass my exam without being the size of a house.

No longer looking forward to Sunday.

Diet or die....

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:56:00 GMT

THEY say a positive attitude and a great support-network are the keys to success and this certainly rings true for me.

This week my afore-mentioned boyfriend (in my last blog) saw me after a two-week absence and said I have DEFINITELY lost weight.

I must admit, hearing this from someone who frequently has his arms around me for hugs and cuddles has spurred me on.

On Sunday (June 29) I will be weighing myself after one-month of hypnotherapy. I wouldn't say I am looking forward to it but I don't have the same feelings of dread I used to have. It used to have me cowering in a corner weeping on the phone to any friend who isn't yet diverting my calls to answering machine.

Imagine that scene in The Simpsons where Homer is running through the woods and sees a billboard saying 'die' and screams. Then a tree blows back and he reads the actual word is 'diet' and screams even louder. My thoughts about losing weight are pretty much summed up like this!

Well...they were anyway.

I am taking what Lesley said on board. We can't be saintly all the time, but if I do have a slice of cake or nibble some chocolate, it doesn't mean the whole thing goes out the window.

This week has been made a lot easier because I am officially poor. Its those last few days before payday when you actually consider whether three-days past its sell by date is really that bad for milk and if someone offers you chewing gum you count it towards a meal because the yoghurt splog you found smeared on the fridge door just didn't do it for you.

When payday does roll around, I'll have to be very good. Payday is usually the time of month when I do go out and buy something fattening for lunch- because I deserve it!

I am still listening to the CD every night and it really is helping me sleep. I remember to put it on 90 per cent of the time and on the days I do, I wake up feeling more positive.

Plus, it makes a change from my Terrorvision album. Great for doing the housework to, not so great for catching some Zzzzzzzz.

Slimmer sisters

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:58:00 GMT

A MOMENTOUS occasion this week- I had my last hypnotherapy session.

Well, not exactly my last, but my final one for now.

As soon as I walked in I knew what Lesley was going to say. I had no problems to tell her about, no issues I wanted to discuss. No worries.

I have been feeling a lot brighter and chirpier these last few days and have really started to notice a difference.

Those jeans that weren’t looking so great now fit a little better and even A BOY commented on how I look slimmer. (Being a boy he couldn’t compliment me directly, he had to tell my colleague who passed it on).

I think the real tests will come on Thursday and June 29. Thursday, because my boyfriend is returning after a week of absence and will hopefully notice a result (if any of his friends are reading this- please text him and remind him!) and June 29 because that will be one month since I started this and I am allowed to weight myself.

I have noticed the odd time when I have been naughty, for example, sitting in a seafront café and munching an ice cream with bad influence Charlotte.

Or when I bought chocolate buttons and sniffed them for about half an hour before eating them- just to show I had some restraint.

But unlike other times I have tried to lose weight, instead of jacking it in and thinking ‘oh well I have ruined it now’ I have merrily jumped back on the wagon and been a good girl the next day.

Two lucky ladies in our office are getting married this year and are therefore also watching what passes their lips, so they are having a positive influence. I think it has really helped knowing that some fellow ‘slimming sisters’ are going through the same things I am.

I am still listening to the hypnotherapy CD every night. Well, I say ‘listening’ in a loose term. Basically I whack it on and within two minutes I have usually nodded off and don’t know anything else about it until my alarm the next morning.

I am also back swimming and gymming after a prolonged absence. ( I slipped down some steps while texting and ended up in plaster- but that’s a different story for another time).

I am definitely feeling fitter and more positive.

Adios amigos. Until next time…

The Cake Wars

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:53:00 GMT

ANYONE who has ever worked in an office will probably sympathise with this week’s dilemma- cakes and biscuits.

Everyone has that person in the work place who will demand cakes be brought in for every birthday, anniversary, new baby and wedding imaginable. I think we once had them just because it was deadline day.

I won’t name the person in our office who has taken on the role of ‘Cake Warlord’, but she knows who she is!

Yesterday (Tues) I was very naughty with my diet. I had a tuna and cheese sandwich on white bread (dum, dum duuuuum) and then happily gorged a bag of white chocolate buttons in front of supportive colleagues screaming ‘noooooo’.

And now today, when I have climbed back on the wagon and want to stick to my salad and plums, someone has brought in biscuits.

Sitting here typing right now I think I am gaining weight just from inhaling the calories. It is taking all the strength I have not to shove one in my mouth and crunch it down before anyone notices.

Having spoken to my boyfriend on the phone and heard ‘but you don’t need to lose weight’ I am feeling more cheery. Maybe HE should have gone to Specsavers! He is obviously with me for my personality- but God knows why. Haha.

Still determined to lose a few pounds and squeeze into the sexy bikini I used to wear when I was a waitress running around in a very hot outfit and doing 8miles a night. (Just to clarify- I didn’t waitress in a bathing suit).

I have noticed my clothes aren’t leaving impressions on me when I take them off at night and my knickers aren’t cutting off the circulation to my thighs due to my expanding *** any more.

I do feel thinner, just not thin. But like anything worth doing, it takes time, motivation and willing.

Looking forward to my next session with Lesley, mainly because she has a comfy couch and a cool pink Buddha I wouldn’t mind stealing for my flat.

But seriously- hypnotherapy is always very relaxing and after a stressful week of driving to Taunton, meeting deadlines and generally rushing around, it will be nice to take five and count some Zees.

Until next time, over and out.

Sharky and my subconscious

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:31:00 GMT

THIS week in my strive for a smaller waist I made two new friends- Sharky and my subconscious.

Sharky, as his name suggests, is a little shark who is now going to swimming around in my stomach, while my subconscious is a pink squishy bubble.

Before you start calling for the men in white coats, let me explain.

My hypnotherapist Lesley introduced me to Sharky on Thursday to help me get rid of some of that bubbler I seem to be carrying around.

When I have a meal I have to picture the miniature shark swimming around all my arteries, eating up all the rubbish and moving so fast he knocks off bits of fat. As Sharky eats he gets smaller and smaller, so he keeps on eating even more.

Lesley said I should try and imagine him when I am eating at work, one of the places I find it hard to try and slow down my shovelling.

During the week I am usually pushing food in with one hand and typing with the other, which is probably one of my main difficulties.

I also met my subconscience, who unfortunately doesn’t have a name but is very pretty none the less.

When I went into hypnosis on Thursday Lesley wanted to talk to my subconscious rather than me so I had to imagine it coming forward.

While those two were chatting away like old friends, I was sort of half aware of what was happening. Sort of like being half asleep in front of the television- you know what programme is on but not a lot else.

At the end Lesley asked me to thank my subconscience for popping in for a chat and I gave it a hug. It sounds bizarre but I could actually feel my arms going around this soft pink thing. It felt nice.

Now I am typing out what happened and reading it back, it does all seem pretty crazy, but trust me, it is working.

I’ve been warned not to weigh myself for a month but I am already noticing a difference in how my clothes fit and I know I am not snacking in between meals, popping out for a chocolate bar and all those other bad habits I used to do.

Don’t get me wrong. I am nowhere nearly saintly, but the trick is not to eat 10 burgers and pizzas just because I fell off the wagon and munched a few sweets.

I am feeling really positive about this whole experiment and I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Roll on summer. I cannot wait to wear a bikini and look like a human rather than a ball of dough covered in dental floss.

Session one and not a watch in sight

clare.hayes@archant.co.uk — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:09:00 GMT

IN WHAT might turn out to be either one of the best or worst decisions of my life, I have again volunteered go undercover in the name of news.

After filming myself looking after a robot baby that cried into the wee hours (video elsewhere on this website), I decided to try to lose the weight I seem to have gained since getting a desk job.

Aiming to regain my hourglass figure, I went along to my first hypnotherapy session with Lesley.

After hearing an outline of the process I was asked a series of questions to identify the root of my problem (I think chocolate and cakes had a lot to do with it), before being told to visualise the body I want.

I do count myself lucky in the fact my editor hasn't asked for a before and after photograph like they do on television. I think me in my pants followed by a picture of my head super-imposed onto Catherine Zeta-Jones' body would probably lower our circulation figures.

Then came the part I was actually very nervous about- the hypnosis. I was told to lie on a couch but fortunately there wasn't a pocket watch in sight.

It is a very strange feeling being hypnotised. It is like being half in a dream and half listening to the other person. Sort of like geography A-level.

Lesley told me to imagine my body sinking deeper into the seat (which probably actually happened - bearing in mind the reason I was there). I had to close my eyes and imagine I was in a garden, and with each step I took towards the lawn, I had to imagine my body getting heavy.

The actual hypnotherapy, in which Lesley spoke about positive thinking and expelling negative thoughts, seemed to last about five minutes - but looking at the clock, I realised almost an hour had slipped by.

I don't really remember what happened during the hypnosis but when I came out of it my body felt like a balloon, very light and floaty, like a really nice head rush.

Since the session, I have noticed a significant decrease in the amount of chocolate I have been eating, my weakness being Galaxy and white chocolate.

I've been told the thing about hypnotherapy is to have a positive attitude and believe it is going to work, and I do. I really want it to work so by the time my summer holidays come along I can sunbathe on the beach without lifeguards thinking a beached whale has become stuck on the sand.

Only time will tell....