That's their job - putting up signs

DO YOU feel intimidated by the crowds of hooligans playing football in the Italian Gardens? Have you narrowly missed serious injury from hordes of skateboarders? No? Well someone has. It only needs someone to make a complaint and, quick as a flash, the council will put up a sign to stop it. The fact that nobody takes a blind bit of notice of them doesn't worry the council because that's their job - putting up signs. That's what they do.Up and down the High Street are signs forbidding cycling, which is why I was last week nearly mown down by not just one cyclist but two, the second being her 10-year-old daughter! Of course in summer you can't see the No Cycling signs because of the hanging baskets, which raises the question: if the signs are important why cover them with hanging baskets, and if they're not important, why put them up in the first place?Yet more signs: 'This area is covered by CCTV giving a safer and brighter town'. Really? This is the CCTV that fails to catch the vandals that break branches off the trees in the Italian Gardens a mere 10 yards from the cameras. The same CCTV that fails to catch the yobs that enjoy stripping the bark off the trees. The CCTV that fails to notice the morons spraying obscenities in very large letters on the stonework, which the council failed to clean off for several months.So each morning while we have to walk down disgusting streets through a carpet of chip papers, burger boxes and vomit, avoiding the dog mess; admiring the views of obscene graffiti and nightclub fly posters, while passing the now derelict Tropicana and that stupid half built Carrot, just remember your council is too busy working hard for you trying to find yet more ineffectual and ugly signs to erect. But there is still so much to do: no frisbees, no ghetto blasters, no sunbathing, no soapsuds in the fountain, no dossers, no hoodies. The possibilities for making the town even uglier are endless!EDDIE GRAYVia e-mail