Thoughtless, inconsiderate comments

PUBLISHED: 08:52 10 April 2006 | UPDATED: 09:06 24 May 2010

I WOULD like to voice my opinion on the comments made by Mr Austin in the edition of the Weston Mercury on March 31, and your featured article on Health and Safety aspects at the crematorium. As a grieving mother of a little girl buried in the children's

I WOULD like to voice my opinion on the comments made by Mr Austin in the edition of the Weston Mercury on March 31, and your featured article on Health and Safety aspects at the crematorium. As a grieving mother of a little girl buried in the children's section at the Weston Crematorium and a friend to other parents of children buried there, I know that they will be as upset and distressed as I am at such thoughtless, inconsiderate comments.We go up to attend our children's graves daily. Forgive us that we still want to remember our children, and talk about them, and place a small inexpensive but tasteful gift on their grave on the passing of a birthday or anniversary. Forgive us that we light candles to symbolise light, love and hope, when we can't light candles on a birthday cake. Forgive us that we place a windmill or wind chime within our paid-for plot so that when the wind blows we feel that it is our children's way of saying we are still around you. Forgive us for the comfort that we get and others do. Forgive us for the small things we do to celebrate our child's life by placing fresh flowers, photos of them or write poems. Forgive us for losing our child.As for the comment of voodooism Mr Austin, voodooism to me is something that conjures up images from a James Bond film, whereby a doll is made that you stick pins into to hurt somebody. I never knew I was a convert of this practice by placing small tasteful garden ornaments and a teddy bear on my daughter's grave. Perhaps now that is an avenue of thought for me to explore?I would also like to address comments made by Miss McCauley and state that with regard to my little girl's grave, nothing has been placed on my daughter's grave or done to my daughter's grave without seeking permission from the manager of the crematorium. If he has said yes I have gone ahead and if no then I abide by what he says. I cannot, of course, comment on every other plot up there. But I have found the regular ground and office staff up there lovely, and I know that if a question was posed then it would be met with an understanding and fair answer.However it has to be addressed about the contract workers who maintain the grounds and now I come to the health and safety aspect.I have seen the total disrespect over the few years I have been going up to the crematorium by the contract workers to the graves. I have watched someone attending their loved one's grave by placing fresh flowers and spending ages cleaning their loved one's footstone. When I went up the next day the flowers had been knocked over and the stones inscription unreadable where the grass had not been cleaned off properly. The children's section only a few months ago caused a huge outcry following the "maintenance" of the section prompting an apology from the crematorium.My comments are that Health and Safety would not be such an issue if those contracted to the grounds stopped bombing around on their grass cutters and just thought for one second, about taking more care and consideration of themselves and things around them. Maybe those wind chimes hanging down from the tree may pose a problem, but I would have thought the branches hanging down and the tree trunk would pose more of a threat.As for the comments on your article about mourners complaining of the noise made from wind chimes or windmills - please!Perhaps the birds should be silenced and leaves prevented from rustling and, ever better, the overhead flight path changed. What I find more offensive is having to listen to a contract worker swearing about pay issues within a few feet from myself and my very impressionable son, while I was walking back to my car after paying my respects to my daughter.Perhaps one day our loved ones will be able to rest in peace and so will the families, and if by including my name it prompts people to venture over to the children's section, please remember that there is a lot of love there with our children, and if you don't want to hear the wind and the chimes tinkling, don't go.MRS J NORTON - Address supplied

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